Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

His prose is clear and not overtly technical. The case studies featured also help to illuminate the subject areas covered and enable the reader to relate to the experiences of others.

However, I do find that the areas covered in this book are limited. As the title suggests, we are dealing with the healing of the child within. Yet despite this there are no practical exercises in which the reader can engage in to enable this healing to take place.

One text which does this marvellously is 'Rescuing the Inner Child' by Penny Parks (available from Amazon). Although this was primarily intended for victims of sexual abuse, emotional and physical abuse are covered and the process of healing that is given can be adapted for such types of abuse. I have found Parks' Inner Child Therapy the best thing I have come across for healing my child within. Used in conjuntion with 'Rescuing the Inner Child' I think 'Healing the Child Within' will help consolidate the practical exercises.

Another very good book is 'Toxic Parents' by Dr.Susan Forward (Also available from Amazon) which also covers these three areas of abuse. Some practical exercises are included, but I would recommend this more for consolidation. The only drawback with this book is that it focuses on a conflict with the aggressors, which in my opinion, is not necessary for emotional wellbeing as you can heal yourself in other ways. However, this part of the book can be disregarded. The rest is very helpful.

I hope that you find this review useful. I am successfully working my way out of the pit and want to share my knowledge with others, who are in a similar situation. You may also decide to seek help from a counsellor/therapist whilst reading your way through these texts. I believe that this is the best way to go because churning up memories of the past can be extremely painful. Seeing a counsellor gives you the opportunity to explore your feelings and release your anger in a safe environment. Good Luck!


An uncomplicated & eclectic framework for self deveopment   February 23, 2000
26 out of 27 found this review helpful

This rates along side 'The Road Less Travelled' by Scott-Peck. Uncomplicated, eclectic and more to the point blows away the idea that abuse and dysfunctional families are limited to the polarised views of extreem physical or sexual abuse. This book has structure, it provides an excellent framework for looking at ones' own behaviour and attitudes. Should the reader then recognise the desire to change, then there's help with that too.


MUST READ for spiritually abused adult children!!!   June 21, 1999
60 out of 62 found this review helpful

Most books on disfunctional families assume alcoholism and/or drug abuse. There isn't much literature that addresses the problem of family disfunction recognising that symptoms/causes can manifest in other ways.

The parental conditions he lists that tend to stifle the child within are: chemical dependence; co-dependence; chronic mental illness or disabling physical illness; extreme rigidity, punitiveness, judgementalness, non-loving, perfectionism, or inadequacy; child abuse--physical, sexual, mental-emotional and/or spiritual; denial of feelings of reality.

Spiritually abused adult children, even if no physical abuse ever occurred in conjunction, tend to have experienced co-dependence (boundaries are crossed and roles are mixed up in unhealthy ways), rigidity, judgementalness, perfectionism, and denial of feelings of reality, in addition to the description he gives for mental/emotional/spiritual abuse.

He develops heirarchical list of 20 human needs, drawing from Maslov, Miller, Weil, and Glasser, and develops the concept that in order for a human being to be whole and healthy and ready to follow a truly spiritual path, these needs must first be met, in order of most basic to highest potential. Most basic, of course, survival and safety; highest potential is unconditional love (including connection with a Higher Power.)

He explains the cycle of shame and low self esteem, and maps how healthy boundaries are crossed by all in a shame based family.

He describes the role of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and it's treatment.

He then describes the steps of healing; no step can be skipped in order to reach true "Genesis (Spirituality)":

Begin to deal with core issues, identify and re-experience our feelings, go through the process of grieving, integrating, and finally, spirituality.

If you have experienced spiritual abuse in your life (as a child or adult), or aren't sure whether you have, but relate to these issues, then this book is a MUST READ!!!!